Thog's Science Masterclass #7

[realthog]

Yes, folks, it's your Nut-of-the-Month Club Main Selection! Butch Dallmann writes a letter to his local online journal, the Fargo-Moorhead In-Forum, to explain to the rest of us unenlightened souls what global warming's all about. Sit back and pay attention, children:

Published Thursday, September 04, 2008

Well, folks, here we go again.

First they try to make us believe in the “big-bang” theory; then the “millions of years” theory; then the “we all came from monkeys” theory or even the “sea” theory.

Let’s get into the real solution as to what happened and read the Bible. Genesis will explain how it all was created.

Now for the global warming story Al Gore and others are pushing on us; it’s time to read Genesis to Revelation in the Bible.

When God sent the rain on this Earth for 40 days and nights, all this water had to go someplace so the Earth would be dry again.

Remember, God is the Creator and controls the universe.

God tilted the Earth from its original position and caused all the excess water to rush to the poles, and there he instantly froze the water into the ice formations that exist today.

Time is ticking down on God’s time clock. With all the nuclear bombs that are made and stored for the fast-emerging last battle, this Earth would burn up when these nuclear bombs are set off.

We are not creating global warming – God is tipping the Earth back to its original position on its axis and thus getting all this ice to get ready to move and extinguish the nuclear destructive fires man will create.

Time is running out, folks. Jesus is coming soon. Do you know him as your personal Savior?
 

Comments

[quietselkie.livejournal.com]

Now's when we need to have a discussion over pizza and beer (or brose and decaf tea...) so we can actually thrash this out. I just can't verbalize these topics sufficiently in a little text box. I need to be able to wave my hands and look you in the eye. :-)

[lilithsaintcrow.livejournal.com]

That makes two of us. All in favor of going over to Thog's, getting slightly tipsy, and hashing out all the world's problems, say AYE!

*grin*

[quietselkie.livejournal.com]

You can get tipsy; I'll have to stay sober so I can drive when Thog and Pam kick us out.

:-)

[lilithsaintcrow.livejournal.com]

Surely they wouldn't be that uncharitable? (And if I get tipsy enough I'm told I'm a lot of fun. Besides, I could sleep in the yard.)

Hee.

[quietselkie.livejournal.com]

You don't want to sleep in the yard in New Jersey. Think of the sea gulls.

[lilithsaintcrow.livejournal.com]

Point. Maybe there is a lovely covered porch in the area?

God help me, I've invited myself to Thog's and am merrily considering vagrancy and drunkenness. He's going to kick me off his LJ for sure.

[quietselkie.livejournal.com]

We'll take oatmeal and fabric as bribes.

[lilithsaintcrow.livejournal.com]

Check. I make a mean oatmeal cookie and you can sew.

We make a welcome addition to any home.

[quietselkie.livejournal.com]

LOL

Thog eats brose and Pam quilts. I was thinking more of hostess gifts, but your method would probably work just as well.

[realthog.livejournal.com]

"You don't want to sleep in the yard in New Jersey. Think of the sea gulls."

You hardly ever sea a seagull around here. Your main nocturnal problem would be bears (and owls, deer and raccoons).

[realthog.livejournal.com]

"You don't want to sleep in the yard in New Jersey. Think of the sea gulls."

You hardly ever sea a seagull around here. Your main nocturnal problem would be bears (and owls, deer and raccoons).

[quietselkie.livejournal.com]

Oh, you must live in the Not NYC portion of NJ. A friend of mine lives out near...what was it, Hell Neck? Salem? I can't remember, but she called it Hicksville with Woods.