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realthogThe excellent blog Lost in Tarnation has the full, terrifying story, which makes essential reading for all who can actually read. Here's an extract:
Stylus Newington from Hialeah FL summed up his plight as he stood by the side of Interstate 95 in his pajamas, talking frantically on his cell phone while several children, the seed of his loins, bearers of his lineage and his pride and joy, peered anxiously out the windows of his Ford Explorer. “At this point I don’t know what I can do to keep ‘em from brainwashing my children by talking to ‘em on the teevee. I’m currently wavering between jumping off a cliff with them Okinawa-style or just selling ‘em into prostitution and hoping for the best.”
Protestations from the White House that the president was merely going to urge America’s children to strive to do great things and use his own life story as an example seemed to fall on unsympathetic ears. Wynona Mulligan, in the midst of refueling her Hummer H-3 before heading for the hills, gestured to the three children and two Wiemerauners asleep in the back. “If Obama’s rhetoric infects my children and little Placenta, Pikachu and Palin2012 become socialists, I – I won’t know what to do,” she confessed in a breathy sob.
Hurry there for the rest of this alarming dispatch before it's . . . too late.
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no subject
Date: 2009-09-07 10:52 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-09-08 12:43 am (UTC)You're obviously French.
no subject
Date: 2009-09-08 11:23 am (UTC)Though I won't be wholly satisfied till they loudly declare Alan Moore's part in the Masonic layout of Washington, DC.
no subject
Date: 2009-09-08 12:37 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-09-08 12:42 am (UTC)Is the scary president monster going to grow horns?
I think he already has.
More than that, he didn't even grow them in this country . . .
no subject
Date: 2009-09-08 12:58 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-09-08 04:23 am (UTC)He was obviously born in Cuba, dammit. That obvious Nazi New Deal Rooseveltian Fidel Castro shaved off his beard, lost a hundred pounds, defeated cancer, worked out at the gym, faked a birth certificate . . . do I need to go any further?
no subject
Date: 2009-09-08 11:28 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-09-08 03:18 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-09-08 03:19 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-09-08 04:17 am (UTC)I am putting down a whole lot of typos lately.
No more than the rest of us.
Like you say, it's depressing how credible these parodies are. Somewhere there are going to be people who read this one and, mouths open and drooling, say, "Gawsh, Pluto, this Obamacare be do so doggone bad there are folks sellin their kids into prostitution rather than . . ."
Someone Explained This to Me
Date: 2009-09-08 11:17 pm (UTC)I am not making this up.
They read the Left Behind books (because let's face it, Revelation is really hard to follow) and they think Obama is Nicholas, who mind-controls people through the television when he addresses the United Nations.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Nicolae_Jetty_Carpathia
http://o.bamapost.com/
Re: Someone Explained This to Me
Date: 2009-09-09 03:56 am (UTC)"I am not making this up."
I know you're not making this up. There is probably more of this bullshit circulating in the US right now than there was in medieval Europe during the height of the witch-burning craze. I'm waiting for the lynchings to restart.