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realthogToday I received an e-mail I've had several times before from one of our local Members of Congress, Rep. Scott Garrett. It read thus:
Thank you for contacting my office. I appreciate the opportunity to hear
and understand your views and concerns.
It is an honor and a privilege to represent you in the United States House of Representatives.
Should you have any additional comments about this or any other issues, please do not hesitate to contact me in my Washington, D.C. office at (202) 225-4465. Also, you can access Thomas.loc.gov from my website (www.house.gov/garrett) to obtain additional information on legislative issues.
Thank-you again for your e-mail. It is through your comments that I am
better able to represent the people of New Jersey in Congress.
Sincerely,
Scott Garrett
Member of Congress
5th District, New Jersey
Normally I respond to Garrett's robot-written one-size-fits-all e-mails with, perhaps, an outburst of simulated vomiting or a fit of derisive laughter -- he's a man who's raised insincerity to a high artform -- but today, perhaps because filled with that sense of loving forgiveness that so epitomizes the festive season, I thought I'd give him a chance to redeem himself by entering into debate. I wrote back:
Thank you for contacting my office. I appreciate the opportunity to hear
and understand your views and concerns.
It is an honor and a privilege to represent you in the United States House of Representatives.
Should you have any additional comments about this or any other issues, please do not hesitate to contact me in my Washington, D.C. office at (202) 225-4465. Also, you can access Thomas.loc.gov from my website (www.house.gov/garrett) to obtain additional information on legislative issues.
Thank-you again for your e-mail. It is through your comments that I am
better able to represent the people of New Jersey in Congress.
Sincerely,
Scott Garrett
Member of Congress
5th District, New Jersey
Normally I respond to Garrett's robot-written one-size-fits-all e-mails with, perhaps, an outburst of simulated vomiting or a fit of derisive laughter -- he's a man who's raised insincerity to a high artform -- but today, perhaps because filled with that sense of loving forgiveness that so epitomizes the festive season, I thought I'd give him a chance to redeem himself by entering into debate. I wrote back:
Dear Scott Garrett
<<I appreciate the opportunity to hear and understand your views and concerns.>>
Then why do you ignore everything we say?
Paul
www.johngrantpaulbarnett.com
Consultant Editor, AAPPL: www.aappl.com
Just published: New Writings in the Fantastic (http://tinyurl.com/2ppstk)
Just published: Corrupted Science (http://tinyurl.com/2xqu7d with sample chapter at http://tinyurl.com/3b6885)
Read my (very) new blog at http://realthog.livejournal.com/
And for answer I got what I think may be the very first piece of honesty I've ever heard from Rep. Garrett!!! Yes, folx, here it is:
This report relates to a message you sent with the following header fields:
Message-id: <016b01c841ba$148ebb40$34705543@paul1121fd5abc>
Date: Tue, 18 Dec 2007 16:08:02 -0500
From: Paul Barnett <>
To: "Rep. Scott Garrett" <scott.garrett@mail.house.gov>
Subject: Re: Thanks for writing
Your message cannot be delivered to the following recipients:
Recipient address: scott.garrett@mail.house.gov
Reason: Remote SMTP server has rejected address
Diagnostic code: smtp;550 5.7.1 Unable to deliver to <scott.garrett@mail.house.gov>
Remote system: dns;hydrus.house.gov (TCP|167.206.4.200|40402|143.228.150.179|25) (hydrus.house.gov ESMTP house.gov)
So, all together everyone, exactly how much does Scott Garrett appreciate the opportunity to hear and understand the views and concerns of his constituents?
www.johngrantpaulbarnett.com
Consultant Editor, AAPPL: www.aappl.com
Just published: New Writings in the Fantastic (http://tinyurl.com/2ppstk)
Just published: Corrupted Science (http://tinyurl.com/2xqu7d with sample chapter at http://tinyurl.com/3b6885)
Read my (very) new blog at http://realthog.livejournal.com/
And for answer I got what I think may be the very first piece of honesty I've ever heard from Rep. Garrett!!! Yes, folx, here it is:
This report relates to a message you sent with the following header fields:
Message-id: <016b01c841ba$148ebb40$34705543@paul1121fd5abc>
Date: Tue, 18 Dec 2007 16:08:02 -0500
From: Paul Barnett <>
To: "Rep. Scott Garrett" <scott.garrett@mail.house.gov>
Subject: Re: Thanks for writing
Your message cannot be delivered to the following recipients:
Recipient address: scott.garrett@mail.house.gov
Reason: Remote SMTP server has rejected address
Diagnostic code: smtp;550 5.7.1 Unable to deliver to <scott.garrett@mail.house.gov>
Remote system: dns;hydrus.house.gov (TCP|167.206.4.200|40402|143.228.150.179|25) (hydrus.house.gov ESMTP house.gov)
So, all together everyone, exactly how much does Scott Garrett appreciate the opportunity to hear and understand the views and concerns of his constituents?
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no subject
Date: 2007-12-18 10:19 pm (UTC)ROFLOLUWP.
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Date: 2007-12-18 10:22 pm (UTC)Translation, Obi Wan?
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Date: 2007-12-18 10:47 pm (UTC)Shantih.
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Date: 2007-12-19 03:42 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-12-20 11:40 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-12-20 11:52 pm (UTC)Because usually it's the Tories and the Repugs who go preaching to the rest of us about the importance of "family values", then rush off to . . . look, do you really want to know what perversion it is that has gained Senator David Vitter his rhyming nickname among the harlots of more cities than one?
no subject
Date: 2007-12-21 12:00 am (UTC)