realthog: (shoe)
[personal profile] realthog

Bill Harnsberger ("Bill from Portland Maine") has very kindly granted me permission to quote this from his Daily Kos blog "Cheers and Jeers":

An Open Letter to America from the Republican Leadership

Dear America,

There has been much confusion about what our position is on the economic stimulus plan now making its way through Congress. Since President Obama made his case yesterday, we would like to make ours now in the interest of equal time. In a nutshell, our plan is streamlined and simple:

First and foremost: lizard marshmallow hat in the wicker basket goes nefarious.

Second: All couch fur in pothole will be goat cheese on a sliding scale. Pearls are carrots drill bit woodpecker equally.

Third: Monkey farts on the naval base gets pitched to solar backgammon limitations. If there are no arias being sung in Poughkeepsie the maple tree gets ranch dressing. Note: Stinky mop excites the trousers.

In the event of a cordless manhole cover, the Easter Bunny gets towel rack plus nuclear pudding.

Above all, lawn chairs will graze on the mixing bowls in toll baskets.

We hope this helps cut through the clutter to give you a better idea of what we as a party stand for---and have to offer the nation---in this most difficult time.

Sincerely,

Your Republican Party Leadership
 

* Acknowledgements to Tim Sullivan, who drew my attention to Bill's piece in the first place.

i represent the lawn chair coalition

Date: 2009-02-10 06:53 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] saycestsay.livejournal.com
Lawn chairs? Poker snags many marshmallow lizards but lawn chairs cross the road.

So there.

Date: 2009-02-10 07:39 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] ogre-san.livejournal.com
Oh good. Now it makes sense.

Date: 2009-02-10 07:54 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] tomaq.livejournal.com
It's just common sense, people.

Date: 2009-02-10 09:59 pm (UTC)

Date: 2009-02-10 10:22 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] hutch0.livejournal.com
Sensible policies for a sensible time. The policy on lawn chairs is long overdue.

Date: 2009-02-11 12:50 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] fledgist.livejournal.com
Cordless manhole covers are just inhumane.

Date: 2009-02-11 12:53 am (UTC)

Re: i represent the lawn chair coalition

Date: 2009-02-11 12:54 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] realthog.livejournal.com

Although this depends on your definition of "there".

Date: 2009-02-11 12:55 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] realthog.livejournal.com

Ain't that the ambivalent truth.

Date: 2009-02-11 12:56 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] realthog.livejournal.com

If McCain had only explained all this while on the campaign trail . . .

Date: 2009-02-11 12:57 am (UTC)

Date: 2009-02-11 12:59 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] realthog.livejournal.com

Hm. I'd've thought, given your proclivities, you'd've been more focused on Note: Stinky mop excites the trousers.

Date: 2009-02-11 01:05 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] sarcobatus.livejournal.com
Still clueless? ;P

Date: 2009-02-11 01:18 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] tomaq.livejournal.com
That was Sarah and Joe's assignment.
And what a job they did.

Date: 2009-02-11 01:24 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] fledgist.livejournal.com
Manfully sleep watchful divots.

Date: 2009-02-11 01:34 am (UTC)

Date: 2009-02-11 01:35 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] realthog.livejournal.com

Yes, I'm sure they said most of these things at one stage or another. Only less coherently, if you know what I mean.

Date: 2009-02-11 01:36 am (UTC)

Date: 2009-02-11 01:53 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] sarcobatus.livejournal.com
Just what I thought.

How's the research coming along?

Date: 2009-02-11 01:58 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] tomaq.livejournal.com
They seem to have hurt McCain, but I was worried that the stunts they represented were going to WORK.

Might have, had the economy been in good shape. As Poppy managed to win based on the Pledge of Allegiance, McCain might have been able to base his whole campaign on Obama not wearing a flag pin.

Guess the voters decided we have bigger problems now.

Date: 2009-02-11 02:20 am (UTC)

Date: 2009-02-11 02:48 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] sarcobatus.livejournal.com
Ugh, him busy.

Date: 2009-02-11 02:50 am (UTC)

Date: 2009-02-11 02:51 am (UTC)

Date: 2009-02-11 02:51 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] realthog.livejournal.com

"McCain might have been able to base his whole campaign on Obama not wearing a flag pin."

I was worried about that too. Remember Poppy's staunch policy point that he didn't like broccoli?

Date: 2009-02-11 02:52 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] sarcobatus.livejournal.com
Most excellent reply.

Date: 2009-02-11 03:50 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] tomaq.livejournal.com
And Willie Horton, and "card-carrying member of the ACLU."

It was the dumbest Presidential campaign in my living memory -- up to that time.

Date: 2009-02-11 11:42 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] fledgist.livejournal.com
Rexist worse would be.

Date: 2009-02-11 10:40 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] hutch0.livejournal.com
`trousers'
*snigger*

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