Under the Knife

[realthog]

 
On Tuesday I'm to have an angiogram/cardiac catheterization. As far as I can gather -- me, the ever-courageous male an' all -- this involves ripping apart my groin with a chain saw and then jackhammering a probe about the size of a rolling pin up through my circulatory system, shredding soft tissue as it goes, until it can take a photograph of my heart. Pam says it's a tad less traumatic than this, but then it's not her groin. All this so my cardiologist has something he can post on Facebook.

I don't imagine I'll be merrily hopping astride a stolen Harley to get home from the hospital. Indeed, it may well be that I require a year or two of convalescence, not to mention extensive counselling; I plan to take plenty of books with me. Assuming I actually make it home on Tuesday -- as all these Other, Totally Unsympathetic People say I should -- well, I expect major-league tributes to my general all-fired heroism and traditional British pluck.

(Hm. The last time I had my groin ripped apart must have been the early '70s or so. But apparently my insurance company refuses to cover cold ravioli and live marmosets.)

(What I'm really, really hoping to be able to do is get to the book party whose details you can find at http://al-zorra.livejournal.com/305706.html.)

 

Comments

[charlesatan.livejournal.com]

Good luck and hopefully nothing goes wrong with the surgery.

[nick-kaufmann.livejournal.com]

Good luck. I'll be rootin' for ya!

[realthog.livejournal.com]

I'll be rootin' for ya!

I'd suggest that's an inappropriately chosen verb, Mr Kaufmann.

[nick-kaufmann.livejournal.com]

I thought it would be better than "pullin' for ya."

[realthog.livejournal.com]

"hopefully nothing goes wrong with the surgery"

Cheery bugger, aren't you, Charles? Here we're not using the word "wrong" very much.

[realthog.livejournal.com]

I thought it would be better than "pullin' for ya."

Most alternatives would be.

[charlesatan.livejournal.com]

It helps to be prepared. =)

Contingency plans like a will, a list of manuscripts to be published and remain unpublished, and perhaps a recording of the surgery doesn't hurt.

P.S. Lol on the tags.

[sarcobatus.livejournal.com]

I was wondering why the silence for the last few days or so. Now I know. You have my sympathies.

Good luck with the surgery, Paul. I know this isn't an easy venture, been through major surgery my own darn self. But as ornery as you are, I'm more worried for the surgeon. Shouldn't someone warn him or something?

[realthog.livejournal.com]

Contingency plans like a will, a list of manuscripts to be published and remain unpublished, and perhaps a recording of the surgery doesn't hurt.

Oh, thanks, like that comment helps!

[quietselkie.livejournal.com]

Eep. Best wishes.

[charlesatan.livejournal.com]

I'd offer you beer! (Your choice whether you consume it before or after.)

[realthog.livejournal.com]

I imagine I'll be saying "Eep!" quite a lot Tuesday, but I've sworn Pam to silence on the subject. As far as I can gather, her role is to hang around in the hospital canteen afterwards having coffee and a good laugh with lots of people in blood-spattered aprons.

She sees it rather differently.

[quietselkie.livejournal.com]

She sees it rather differently.

As would I, were it my spouse having his arteries reamed.

[realthog.livejournal.com]

"I was wondering why the silence for the last few days or so."

Um, no, J -- that's just because I've been idle.

But thanks for the kind thoughts -- and please don't worry! I'm just laughing at myself about my reaction to what is in truth a fairly minor procedure. (Well, the fuckers would say that, wouldn't they?)

[realthog.livejournal.com]

Get it here by Tuesday a.m. and "before" becomes a possibility!

[ogre-san.livejournal.com]

Wishing you good luck and quick recovery.

[realthog.livejournal.com]

"Lol on the tags"

They're the toned-down version.

[realthog.livejournal.com]

Many thanks! But I'm going to milk this for all it's worth . . .

[jmward14.livejournal.com]

Sending my best medical juju and lots of healing hugs. Hope the procedure goes flawlessly and produces as little discomfort as possible. Not that I expect you to stop, er, milking the situation. Much love, Jean Marie

[hutch0.livejournal.com]

Jesus. I'll be keeping my fingers crossed, Obi-Wan. Can I have your Harley if things go wrong?

[realthog.livejournal.com]

"Can I have your Harley if things go wrong?"

That's not what I'll be giving away if worse comes to worst.

[hutch0.livejournal.com]

Yeah, but I always wanted a Harley.

[realthog.livejournal.com]

"Not that I expect you to stop, er, milking the situation."

I knew there'd be a rude person who'd pick up on the terminology, and if I'd thought for about a picosecond longer I'd have guessed correctly who it would be . . .

[realthog.livejournal.com]

Well, tough.

*sigh*

[jmward14.livejournal.com]

What can I say? I'm good at my job. Hugs and grins, Jean Marie