Alas, as enticing as the offer sounds (especially in regard to the troubling moral question of whether the romantic subplot would constitute incest or masturbation or both!), I think I would prefer to shell out my bucks on one of your own science books to put alongside my Stephen Jay Gould and Martin Gardiner.

I also worry that some of the physical damage to your copy of Pears' book may have occurred through its proximity to the Fitz-Gibbon and its various vibrations through the vibrational plane.